Jordan Bloopers

I get such a kick out of some of the stuff Jordan says.  She was in fine form yesterday when I picked her up from school.  It went something like this:

"Guess what, Mama.  Jesus died."  (Easter time, Lutheran school)

 - "Yes he did, honey."

"Yeah.  He died on the clock."


I tried to ask her some more about her day and what she learned at school, but she got really irritated with me.  (Jordan is frequently irritated when I pick her up because she's tired, hungry, and doesn't want to leave.)  So she starts acting badly and tells me "I don't like you!"  This has apparently become the retort of choice with the girls on the playground, and we're trying hard to correct it.  But on the way to the grocery store she asks for some treat or special privilege, I think to ride in the shopping cart.  So I tell her she needs to start acting nicely and stop saying mean things, to which she replies, in a syrupy voice, "I'm sorry, Mama."  pause.....  "I'm sorry I don't like you."   Nice.

She was pretty good at the store and at Costco.  She got to ride in the cart.  We're leaving and she says, "I can't wait to eat that porcupine." 

??? 

Then she points to the pineapple. 

Jordan-speak

Jordan sometimes hears things differently than the rest of us, and her mis-translations are hilarious.  What's even funnier is the vehemence with which she defends her version of things.  Here's a sample:

- She thinks Snow White is singing "Whistle while you were".  If you sing it "wrong", she'll get completely exasperated with you (involves lots of irritated sighing).

- She likes the story about "Handsome and Grittle".  (She likes any story with a witch, or a mean old woman that she can make into a witch.)

- a buffet is a cafe

- she randomly subs a "f" for a "th", but is consistent with the words she does this for (fink/think, somefing/something, toof/tooth)

- she's finally acquiesced on this one, but for a long time she called pepperoni pizza macaroni pizza.