Under Pressure (think David Bowie)

So. In less than two weeks I will be on a public beach in a (gulp) bathing suit. For all the world to see. This weekend I ate Bobby Flay green chile cheese burgers and cheesecake (and beer, and potatoes, and....FISH! I had healthy FISH on Friday!) Today, I ran. Tomorrow, I'm thinking I better run again.

"Run" is a stretch. It's definitely more than a shuffle, but far less than a run. One of Jamie's ATX running buddies told me to never, NEVER, use the term "jog". I can always hear him in the back of my head. Anyway, I ran the Academy loop today, it's 3.3 miles; I ran most of it. Not too bad. It was a gorgeous morning, nice breeze, and the Academy area has amazing views. Of the desert. And it's just so lovely to push one child, specifically the small child, in a top-notch Baby Jogger. But I owe it to that double: it kept me going this summer and gave me quite a workout. It's like pushing a wheelbarrow, full of 60# of bricks... Anyway, I was feeling really good about my accomplishment, my light breakfast. I felt thin.

My world gained proper perspective about 20 mins later in the Target women's dressing room, trying on bikinis. Fool, fool, fool. Why not just go home on a high note? But, I'm determined to not spend a week at the beach in a workout Speedo and 6-yr-old bikini. Basically, Target's "sizing strategy" for bathing suits is WHACKED. I tried on size L and XL, which translated to size 12-16, and every one of them was cut so low you could see my butt crack. Standing up. It was awful. I did find a tankini, solid black, but it was still awful. Even Jacob cried throughout the whole dressing room ordeal. He was horrified. Scarred. (don't feel sorry for him... HE'S to blame!)

Home

We've been in the ABQ for just a little over two years, and it is finally starting to feel like home. I'm a homebody, so this is very important to me. I know I really give New Mexico a hard time; I'm very critical of many aspects of the culture here (high crime, poor schools, lack of focus on education, you've heard it all before from me...). But, I like it here, too. And, for better or worse, it is home.


Anyway, here are my musings on why I think I finally feel at home here (and that's a good thing)

- this is where I got to be a stay-at-home mom
- we had a new baby here, so now I'm attached to Jacob's birthplace as I am to Jordan's
- Jordan started preschool here
- I was able to really make this house MINE
- I'm starting a business here, so I feel a link to the community in a way that's really new for me
- we'll probably be here a while. Jamie's job is very secure, as jobs go. So, this will be the city that my children will probably always think of as home. Until they have children. Home is where your children are.

10 Loooong Years

Ok, so 10 years isn't that long, and they didn't feel that long, that's for sure. Jamie and I had our 10th wedding anniversary yesterday, and celebrated today with a nice hike through the Sandia's and lunch at a cafe afterwards. Very relaxing. Jordan was in school, but Jacob came along for the ride, and seems to love traveling in the hiking backpack. This was his first time out in it; he can finally see over the top, which keeps him happy. Anyway, we did a new trail today, only 4 miles roundtrip, with a view of the ABQ from the top of the main ridgeline between the north and south peaks. Gorgeous.

Yesterday, I pulled out our wedding album to show Jordan, and to look through it with my new, critical, photographer eyes (which were not impressed). Later, on the way to our walk, Jordan starts talking about weddings, and when are we going to have another wedding. So I tried explaining that you only have a wedding once, that they're not like Birthday parties. So she says, I want to have a wedding; I tell her, yes, someday. And I tell her she gets to go to TWO weddings this spring: her cousin's and her Koo-Koo Karen's. She says I want a wedding dress to wear. So I tell her, no, only the bride(s) get to wear wedding dresses. But, I say, we'll get you a really cute dress to wear to the wedding. Jordan's response? "I don't want a cute dress, I want a beautiful dress. Oh-My-Goodness!

So, to recap, I already have my 10th Anniversary to make me feel old, and my 35th Birthday, AND now my oldest child thinks she's outgrown "cute".

Crazy Ivan

Another Jacob post. He's just up to so much.

So today, Jordan, Jacob, and I were playing upstairs. We were playing peek-a-boo with him. He loves this, especially when Jordan's in the mix. He was doing the hiding behind the furniture, then he'd look around the corner and wait for us to say Peek-A-Boo!! The game morphed into us sneaking up behind him when he wasn't looking, then saying (Jordan yelling) Peek-A-Boo when he'd turn around. Once he figured this game out, he'd scoot away from us for a few feet, doing his army crawl, then pull a fast Crazy Ivan (think Hunt for Red October), spinning 180 and giggling when he saw we were there. So funny to see how fast he can spin himself around on his belly. So precious.

On a side note, he does have another trick. We discovered it Saturday night on our ice cream outing. If you tickle Jordan, and get her thrashing and laughing, Jacob FREAKS OUT. He gets this scared/stressed look on his face and squeals. If you do it too much, he'll cry. Poor little guy. I thought it was funny at first, because he just gets this look, but then felt badly because he really is upset. Jordan thinks it's hilarious, and whenever the three of us are playing on the floor, she wants me to tickle her so Jacob will freak out. We tickle Jacob instead. He still loves that. :-)

Oh BOY

Jacob is on the move. I knew I had it easy before, but I still thought I was pretty busy. No, NOW I'm busy. No more cooking dinner while he plays on the floor in the other room. No more sitting on the couch, sipping my coffee, while he rolls around with some favorite toys. Any time spent in a bouncy chair requires constant supervision because he'll try to flip himself out of it (he hasn't actually done this, but it sure looks like he could). As soon as he hits the floor, he's off. He's learned to army crawl, and is surprisingly fast at it. And unlike Jordan, he gets into everything: plants, trash can, paper, goes for the electrical outlets.... To this day, Jordan wants to stay where the action, i.e. people, are. Jacob wants to GO. The tile floors don't deter him, either. I have always said I'm in no hurry for him to crawl or walk. Let him stay a baby. He's going to grow up fast enough. But it would be nice if he did learn how to sit. Still.

Jordan Turns 4

We celebrated Jordan's 4th Birthday this weekend. It was a fun, action-packed weekend with family and friends. Here are the highlights.

First off, our family and friends are very generous, and packages arrived for Jordan throughout the week. Jordan came to expect this, such that everyday when I went to the mailbox, she'd ask "What's for me?", and I'd show her the box, sometimes two, that had arrived. She was really good about understanding that she couldn't open them until her birthday. And she could hardly wait to see them wrapped and sitting in my room and closet. She'd go up there and study them, but not touch!

My Dad, my Aunt Brigid, and cousin Sam arrived Thursday afternoon. They've been on a cross-country national parks camping trip. For like a month. Brigid and Sam live in the southern end of Florida. They drove to Austin, then their camping trip meandered to Seattle for another cousin's wedding. On the way home, they stopped over in the ABQ for Jo's Bday and to pick up my Mom. And to do laundry :-) Jordan and Sam, who is 9, hit it off right away. Sam likes to play games where there are evil characters: right up Jordan's alley.

Friday was the last day of swim lessons for the kids. They always have a little party the last day, where everyone brings snacks. Jordan was very excited about this. Jacob didn't care, Jordan ate his snacks, but he did get to do his last lesson with his Daddy, who had the day off. Jordan passed her class this year, so she'll graduate to the big pool next summer. Friday was also busy with cake and cookie decorating for the party. Jordan insisted on a Cinderella, to go along with the princess theme. Cinderella came out looking a little sunken and lopsided, but Jordan knew who it was at least.

Finally the big day came, Party Day. Sunday was her real birthday, and when she'd get to open her presents, but she didn't care, she was all about the party. We played at the park that morning, and Jordan took a nice nap despite the excitement. GrandMaMa flew in that afternoon for a long weekend visit, and Jordan got to see her before her nap. Jordan had two little girlfriends coming to her party. She's going to have to get used to small parties with her summer birthday; I remember that growing up, and it was one of the reasons I wanted springtime babies. The girls, little brothers, and Sam all played together and had a great time. We rented a princess castle bounce house, and that was a huge hit with kids and adults. Even Nana got in there for a bit and put on a little show for us! Luckily, given her strapless top, it wasn't too exciting of a show. We played outside, opened presents from friends, painted magnets, ate yummy pizza (despite being handed the wrong order), ate frozen cake (because I forgot to set it out to thaw), and bounced until dark. It was a good party.

Sunday was the real Birthday, and we opened presents for HOURS. Jordan got princess everything. She loved it. She also got her own Pillow Pet, after coveting Jacob's for months. When she opened it, she said "It's just like in the commercials!!". She was so excited to get a gift she had seen a commercial for. Ever since that morning, she's been on a rampage to play with everything. We've watched movies, worked puzzles, played princess computer, painted, colored, played dolls, read books, splashed in the pool, you name it. She is spoiled rotten, there's no doubt. But at least she plays with all of her stuff.

So, we're starting our 5th year with kids, and I think the changes we see in Jordan in year 5 will be much more profound than in year 4. I'm not sure why I think this, just a hunch. At any rate, I'm ready to enjoy age 4, even though she's already planning her 5th Birthday.

My Own Boss

For the past year, I've been toying with the idea of starting my own photography business someday. It's something I really love, I enjoy all aspects of it, and I think it will fit in well with our family goals. It's challenging, it's rewarding, it's personal, and it's a huge leap out of the box for me. I don't know squat about business. I'm not super with people, especially with people I've just met. I don't "think" as an artist, I still think like an engineer. And I CANNOT STAND the idea of selling to people. As in upselling, the hard sell, sales tactics, targeting clients.... It all makes me want to puke. But, I do want my business to be successful. Duh!

So, I decided the time to do this thing is now. I'm more than happy to start off slow. Jacob is still very much a baby, and time with him and Jordan is priority uno. But something lit a fire under me this summer, and in the past month I've made a small website, done some free shoots for friends to build up a portfolio, got set up with a pro lab, and today I spent all day in a seminar learning how to operate a business in New Mexico (translate: how to pay your taxes; and man, are there a lot of taxes). My official start date is 10/01/10. Seems like a lucky number. We'll see :-)

You can check me out. The link is now added to the column on the right.